Category: Transitioning

HELP MAKE MOVE-IN DAY A SUCCESS

8/7/2015

As college move-in day approaches, the idea heading off to college turns into a stack of boxes by the door. Somehow, you know your student will eventually get packed, you will manage to fit everything in the car, and your student will finally end up settled in his room.

Move-in day will go more smoothly if you have prepared well at home. You can help your student be organized about packing and preparing for the big move. However, no matter how well prepared you are, move-in day will be a new experience for all of you.

Texas Tech will send information ahead of time, and our housing staff does everything they can to help you navigate the day, but here are some suggestions that may help to make the day – and the transition – go more smoothly.

Move-In Day Arrives – Getting In

Be early. Whatever time you are told to arrive for move-in, try to be on time or just a bit early. As the day progresses, parking becomes more difficult and lines become longer. However, don’t arrive too early. If the school has assigned you a specific time, you may end up sitting in your car waiting for your arrival time.
Be prepared to be patient. No matter how conscientiously the college prepares for an organized move in day, it can be confusing and exhausting. Be prepared. Be flexible. Be patient.
Be prepared for high tensions. This is a difficult day for everyone. Try to be patient with one another.
Your student will need to do multiple things in addition to physically moving his belongings into his room. He will need to check in, pick up keys, fill out paperwork. He may need to turn in forms, buy textbooks, or set up his computer.
Ask Howdy Techsan students or staff members what the procedure is. They have carts and bins available for moving things. They may ask you to pull up and unload your car onto the lawn and then park somewhere else. Howdy Techsans is an army of students available to help unload and carry things. The housing staff has given a great deal of thought to the most efficient process – listen to them and follow directions.
Let your student take the lead in dealing with issues and questions. If he needs to check in and pick up keys, stay in the background and let him do the talking. If a question arises, let him find his Community Advisor to get the answer. Give him this opportunity to take charge of his new life.
Encourage your student to do anything involving lines first. He needs to check in and get keys, and maybe go to the bookstore or the scholarship office, do that before unpacking. Lines get longer as the day progresses.
Delegate anything that your student doesn't actually need to do. Does he need an ethernet cord or extension cord? Anyone can buy that. Does someone need to go to the store or snackbar to buy some lunch? Let a parent or sibling do that.

Move-In Day Arrives – Settling In

Help your student think about choosing his bed, closet, and the shared living space. Your student may want to start a group text to discuss who will bring what items. There are a few items of furniture provided. Be careful that he doesn't alienate a roommate by taking over initially.
Take time to introduce yourself to your student’s suite mates and their family. You may want to exchange contact information. It may be reassuring to know that you can contact someone else if you ever have trouble reaching your student. (Promise that you will use this sparingly.)
Make sure your student asks about completing a room damage form and that he does it carefully. This form asks your student to report any damage that he sees in the room as he is moving in. This might include chipped paint, broken light fixtures, damaged furniture, nail holes, or scratches on the floor. When your student moves out, someone will check the room. Your student will be charged for damage that has occurred while he was living in the room. He needs to report any prior issues.
Don’t set up the room for your student. Let her make her own decisions – probably with his roommate. This will be his space. Let him work at making it his.

After Move-In – Leave taking

Be prepared for some awkwardness. This is an important moment and neither you nor your student knows what to expect. Don’t put too much pressure on this moment by giving a last lecture or expecting your student to react in any particular way.
Don’t plan on taking your student out to dinner. If you would like a final, celebratory family dinner, plan on doing it the night before. Once students have moved in, they will need to begin to make connections with their new roommates and dorm mates. Sharing a common meal – in the dining hall or by going out together is a great time for them to make those connections. Let them have this time for that.
Don’t linger. Once he is moved in, plan to head out so that she can settle in on her own.
Remember that your student may be dismissive and seem nonchalant about your leaving. This may be his method of dealing with his emotions, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't care.
Be patient with yourself and your student. It’s an exciting – and an emotional – time for everyone.

Move-in day is a big step on your college student’s road to independence. If you can remember your student’s first day of kindergarten, you may be experiencing many similar emotions. Once you’ve done all that you can to help him make the transition, you’ve done your job. Now you can focus on being proud of him – and on your own transition.

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send-off parties

7/30/2013

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Texas Tech Parents Association chapter send-off parties are quickly approaching! The TARRANT COUNTY CHAPTER send-off is this Friday, August 2nd at the First Tee of Fort Worth. For more details about this event or to RSVP please visithttp://www.texastechparents.org/events/event_list.asp?show=&group=&%2F22%2F2013&end=&view=&cid=5654

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Books on College Transition for Students and Parents

7/12/2013

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Everything is changing. The excitement and anticipation that peaked in late spring turns to chaos during the "senior summer." Recent graduates are rejecting curfews and failing to show up for family meals, defending their freedom by explaining, "In a couple of months, you won't ever know what I'm doing." Meanwhile, parents are failing in their efforts to maintain peace in the family. Bickering among brothers or sisters reaches new heights. One parent or the other is locked in conflict with the child ... What's a parent to do? Advice flows in from every direction, but each suggestion seems to conflict with at least one other.

- excerpt from
"You're on Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years"

Ahmad, Shaheena. The Yale Daily News Guide to Succeeding in College. New York: Kaplan Books, 1997.
Arrington, Zach. Confessions of a College Freshman. Tulsa, Oklahoma: RiverOak Publishing, 2001.
Barkin, Carol. When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parents’ Survival Guide. New York: Avon Books, 1999. After author’s son went off to college she interviewed parents around the country to get their perspectives.
Bickle, Bruce and Stan Jantz. Real Life Begins After High School. Ann Arbor, Michigan: Servant Publications, 2000.
Brody, Janis. Bringing Home the Laundry: Effective Parenting for College and Beyond. Dallas: Taylor Publishing Co., 2000.
Coburn, Karen Levin and Madge Lawrence Treeger. Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years. New York: Harper Collins, 4th Ed. Co-authored by a College Dean and a psychotherapist.
Cohen, Harlan. The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College. Napierville: Sourcebooks, Inc., 2005
Combs, Patrick. Major in Success: Make College Easier, Fire Up Your Dreams, and Get a Very Cool Job. Berkley, California: Ten Speed Press, 2000.
Dobkin, Rachel and Shana Sippy. The College Woman’s Handbook. New York: Workman Publishing, 1995.
Gibbs, George. Campus Daze.
Grayson, Paul A. and Philip W. Meilman. Beating the College Blues. New York: Check Mark Books, 1999.
Hanson, Jennifer. The Real Freshman Handbook. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1996.
Johnson, Helen E., Christine Schelhas-Miller. Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money:The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2000.
Jones, Connie. She’s Leaving Home. Kansas City: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2002.
Jones,Marilee and Ginsburg, Kenneth. Less Stress, More Success: A New Approach to Guiding Your Teen Through College Admissions and Beyond. By an admissions director at MIT and a pediatrician.

Kastner,Laura and Wyatt, Jennifer. The Launching Years.
Latzko, Marian B. I Can Do It! A Micropedia of Living on Your Own. Appleton, Wisconsin: MICROLIFE, 1996.
Light, Richard J. Making the Most of College: Students Speak Their Minds. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2001.
Litt, Ann Selkowitz. Eating Well on Campus. Bethesda, Maryland: Tulip Hill Press, 2000.
O’Callaghan, Karin R. Money Management for College Students. Hollywood, Florida: Frederick Fell Publishers, Inc., 2002.
Pasick, Patricia. Almost Grown: Launching Your Child from High School to College. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 1998.
Rich, Jason. The Everything College Survival Book. Holbrook: Adams Media Corp., 1997.
Rollins, C.E.. 52 Ways to Get Along With Your College Roommate. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994.
Rowh, Mark. Coping with Stress in College. New York: College Board Publications, 1989.
Rubenstone, Sally and Dalby, Sidonia Panicked Pareents Guide to College Admissions. (Chapter 1)Peterson’s 2002.
Savage, Marjorie. You’re On Your Own(but I’m here if you need me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years
Seaman, Barrett. What Your College Student Won’t Tell You.
Smith, M.J., Smith and Fred Smith. The Smart Student’s Guide to Healthy Living. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2006.
Steenhouse, Andrea Van. Empty Nest…Full Heart: Journey from Home to College. Denver: Simpler Life Press, 1998. Practical advice from a mom/PhD Psychologist.
Woodacre, Margo Bane and Steffany Bane. I’ll Miss You Too. Napierville: Sourcebooks,Inc., 2005.

Blog Post: Transitioning To College From High School – Some Good Advice

Other Titles to Consider

"I'm Going to College -- Not You!" a collection of essays on parenting through the process and beyond, edited by Kenyon admission dean Jennifer Delahunty.

Marcia B. Harris & Sharon L. Jones. The Parent's Crash Course in Career Planning: Helping Your College Student Succeed

Suzette Tyler. Been There Should've Done That: 995 tips for making the most of college.

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Empowerment: an essential skill

6/12/2013

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In my experience, the main skill that college students need to develop is knowing when to ask for support. I have watched students let something get out of hand rather than ask for help, either because they do not know about the appropriate resources or because they do not want to appear inept. On the other hand, I have also seen students immediately reach out to have someone help them without ever trying to solve the problem first. While we do want students to develop their autonomy, we also want them to successfully function interdependently and rely on others for support.

If you notice your child struggling and it is not an emergency or health-related situation, rather than solve the problem yourself or calling the appropriate campus resources for him/her, I suggest that you ask questions that will help him/her get to a solution or that you name the campus resources available and suggest that he/she reach out to them. That way you are empowering them to own the situation, while also acting as a safety net.

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HELP MAKE MOVE-IN DAY A SUCCESS

send-off parties

Books on College Transition for Students and Parents

Other Titles to Consider

Empowerment: an essential skill

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